and I am invaded by your anger’s oily grey shadow, which spread across the vast expanse of bed last night and, ascending my carefully constructed - cold shoulder - seeped into my heart, where it rose, like Judas in the festy heat of my hurt, cloning itself a dark likeness…
So that I upon waking felt uneasy inside and, opening my cavernous, unconscious mouth spat the poison like spit-fire into the wide waiting eyes of our child (oh my child!) who could not absorb it but spewed it back in a torrent of hot tears and indignation
and then skirted me, warily, with surprised looking eyes, sensing that something that would harm it had inhabited its mother -
All day I struggled to reconcile the purport of my love with its lack, all day I wrestled treachery to regain my kind self back, and all day I failed until finally, the anger grew weary of its winning game and I, spent cowed vacated lowered my head in shame and, asking forgiveness for hosting that which I was not strong enough to contain was, through the grace of imperfection and a child’s perfect, unearned love absolved.