"Anger" by  Andrés Santiago Pérez-Bergquist

So now
after all your raging
you are
sweet again
meek again
wanting to reconcile
and I
am invaded
by your anger’s oily grey shadow,
which spread across the vast expanse of bed last night
and, ascending my carefully constructed
- cold shoulder -
seeped into my heart,
where it rose, like Judas
in the festy heat of my hurt,
cloning itself a dark likeness…
So that I
upon waking
felt uneasy inside
and, opening my cavernous, unconscious mouth
spat the poison like spit-fire
into the wide waiting eyes of our child
(oh my child!)
who could not absorb it
but spewed it back in a torrent
of hot tears and indignation
and then skirted me,
with surprised looking eyes,
sensing that something that would harm it
had inhabited its mother -
All day I struggled to reconcile
the purport of my love with its lack,
all day I wrestled treachery
to regain my kind self back,
and all day I failed
until finally,
the anger grew weary of its winning game
and I,
lowered my head in shame
and, asking forgiveness for hosting that 
which I was not strong enough to contain
through the grace of imperfection
and a child’s perfect, unearned love

39 thoughts on “Contagion

  1. Oh Michele,. this was so powerful, so true and so heartbreaking.
    I felt it all, and especially that pain on awaking to the greyness of the past…
    May only love prevail for you all always

  2. This poem is great Mish! Felt it, loved it! It’s so good you are writing and creating great work like this. You must have a lot of stored up creative power inside you and it just needs to get out.

    • Hi David. Didn’t know you we’re reading! Thanks for your comments. I think I might have a bit of stored creative power going on – I’ve been waiting to find time to start writing again for ages, and now all the little munchkins are growing, I’m finally diving back in. (ps. when are you guys coming for dinner?!) X

  3. Hi Michele,
    The imagery in this piece is so compelling, and I can so relate to the waltz one dances with anger/shame/forgiveness. You allow your readers to see themselves in your words–and that is the gift of a true poet. Thank you for continuing your journey with us. I am honored to read your work.

  4. Wow Michelle. Very nice. Confessional writing can be moving when we expose our own frailties, as you demonstrated. Have a great day.

  5. Michele, it was written beautifully, and yet so sad, but you had to let it out and not stew in it any longer…the only you would hurt deeply would be your own spirit! But always remember to be real with yourself! Always realize when enough is enough! the last lines of your poem were so real in it’s delivery! God bless you my sister!

  6. Pingback: The power of anger and love « Emmanuel

  7. The rhythms and asides in this poem have the same emotional impact of music that grabs and holds on in vulnerable places…like the monster in the closet. (one of my favorite children’s books) So glad to meet you !

  8. Just wow. *Silence.* Lol.

    Michele, do you ever read your poetry out loud, on video camera and post? Do you ever read for listeners? Anyway, I absolutely love this:

    So now
    after all your raging
    you are
    sweet again
    meek again
    wanting to reconcile
    and I
    am invaded
    by your anger’s oily grey shadow

    I know this so, so, so, so, so, so, well. And that is — what it is like, when someone slimes their way back in! *Thank-you.*

    • Ah, we women can be slow learners huh? I know that a lot of poets these days are performing ‘slam poetry’ or reading and posting their stuff to utube – but I am a little shy 😦 Maybe one day 🙂 Have a great week Tanyeno x

      • Haha. YES. Me too – I hate bring on camera or even having pictures taken.

        ****Hate it.****

        But yes, alot of poets do perform their work. Doesn’t mean everyone should. You’re right.

        It’s about the text after all. 🙂

        However, it just gives people the opportunity to be with you as a poet in a slightly more intimate way? Hmmm, I probably will have to eat my own explanation one day. You’re great lol, carry on as you are. 🙂

        Thanks Michele, you too. Have a wonderful rest of your week! 😉

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